TOO funny to pass up – 
this comes courtesy of The Saturday Evening Post by way of a reader in Wisconsin:

Two boys are in the hospital lying on gurneys next to each other. ” What are you in for?”, asks one.  “To have my tonsils removed”, the second replied. “Oh, that’s an easy operation. I had it done when I was four, and when you wake up, the nurses give you all the Jello and ice cream you want.”
The other boy is relieved, and says to the first, “Why are you here?” “A circumcision”, he replies. “Whoa”, says the other boy. ” I had that done when I was born, and I couldn’t walk for a year!”

AND, courtesy of The Saturday Evening Post, from a reader  in Union, NJ:

A doctor, lawyer, a priest, and a little boy are on a small, private plane when suddenly the engine stopped. The pilot grabbed a parachute, told the others they had better jump, then bailed out. But, there were only three parachutes remaining. The physician grabbed one and said, ” I save lives. I must live.”
The lawyer took the second parachute, and on exiting the plane said, ” Lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.”
The priest looked at the little boy and said, ” My son, I have lived a long life, and yours is still ahead of you. Take the last parachute, and go in peace.”
“Don’t worry Father”, , said the little boy replied. ” The smartest man in the world just took off with my backpack.”

DID YOU KNOW, that the reason we use  the word “mammoth” as a synonym for “huge”, is that Thomas Jefferson first compared something very large to a mammoth’s bones that had just been discovered.